Does this Steering Wheel Lock (Club) look like a gun?

Apparently it did to Australian cops. It seems that they found the ‘gun’ while searching the vehicle of 18-year-old Chad Hastings, after they pulled him over.

They immediately called in backup and arrested the man for possessing a firearm.

Soon two additional cops arrived on the scene, and moments later Chad was a free man. Apparently the new officers on the scene were able to tell the difference from ‘the club’, and a real gun.

Upon leaving the arresting officer muttered ‘Get a new steering wheel lock, it looks like a bloody gun” – he said he was a “lucky boy” claiming any other cop would’ve held him at gunpoint.

If this looks like a gun, my mouse is a freakin’ grenade! [Courier Mail via Gizmodo]

Vote 4 Kenneth the Page – Your Next Commander and Chief!

Image via Wikipedia

Just announcing his Campaign is 30 Rock’s own Kenneth the page. If you’re undecided, and just don’t know who to vote for – Kenneth is your manchild. Kenneth knows how to get things done. err – at least he’s NOT Sarah Palin!

Kenneth the Page just announced his campaign today, and already he’s leading in many polls. Kenneth promises furry bunnies for every little boy and girl. He also promises to have a free pudding day, where everybody gets free pudding – in lieu of tax cuts.

Vote for Kenneth, or at least Pedro. But for the love of everything holy, don’t vote for McCain!

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• John McCain Survives ‘Saturday Night Live’
• Ben Pretends to Endorse McCain While Violet Leads the Way
• Tina Fey on Sarah Palin: ‘Not Since ‘Sling Blade’ Has There Been a Voice’ Like Hers [Defamer First Look]
• Palin on SNL Countdown…
• Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live Tina Fey on Sarah Palin “Crazy Voice” David Letterman Video

Image by chrisfreeland2002 via Flickr

Move Over Tina Fey – Here comes Nailin Palin…

This is definitely the first porno ever inspired by a presidential campaign… Note video is work-safe.

If Sarah Palin thought the Tina Fey parodies of her were bad, just wait to Hustler gets a hold of her. Apparently Larry Flynt isn’t a fan. They are working on a porn parody called Nailin Paylin. The story line features a Russian tank that breaks down near “Serra Paylin’s” Alaskan home, and well the Russian men turn to Governor Paylin / Palin for help…um…among other things…

It’s also rumored that a fake Hillary Clinton will be featured in the movie as well – although as a guy – I think going with Hillary is a bad move.  Might as well figure out a way to photoshop each viewer’s grandma into the mix, with the exception of a few sicko’s that’s a sure ‘boner shrinker’ (As Amy Poehler’s Hillary was referred to on SNL)…

Of course there’s expected to be some major outrage over the Nailin Palin (aka Nailin Paylin) video. Will it make it to court? Doubtful – it probably won’t make out till after the election, and it won’t do nearly as much damage post-election as pre-election.

That is if Mccain / Palin even have a chance anymore. Which is to be seen. Lets hope and pray they don’t.

Sources [Huffington Post, Right Pundits, TMZ, Post Chronicle ]

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Image by Getty Images via Daylife

What the @%#% is The Hummingbird Sex Position?

This is pretty funny.

Apparently the new NBC show “My Own Worst Enemy“, made reference to a “Hummingbird Sex Position”, and everyone is talking about it. I must say I didn’t feel upto watching it, as it was getting a bit late, even though I did watch Heroes and Chuck (Two of my favorite shows – I’m a Heroes junkie)

I think it’s funny what may, or may not make it to the topspot on google trends, I must say that the Hummingbird Sex Position definitely takes the cake for ‘unusual’.

I’ve been using google trends extensively when writing my blog posts. It appears if I work and right 1-2 trends articles per day for multitude of blogs, I can expect a deluge of traffic – and I’m always up for more traffic.

So what is the Hummingbird Sex Position?

It is a daunting question, apparently I’m not the only curious one about the Hummingbird Sex Position, and when people are curious they turn to google for the answers.

Apparently the hummingbird sex position or hummingbird technique is the use of ‘humming’, during certain acts (this is a family site… I’ll let you guess which act.)

If you are curious and want to know more about the Hummingbird sex position here are some related resources:

• The Hummingbird Sex Position Technique, My Own Worst Enemy
• What is the Hummingbird Sex Position / Hummingbird Sex Technique

I’d think of all people to piss off when running for an election, media icons should be last on your list. I’m more of a Leno fan myself, but I used to watch Letterman when I was younger. There’s no doubt in my mind that Letterman is a cultural and media icon.

Letterman has been around a long time, and has a huge following. Mccain outright ditched Letterman yesterday, stating that he was needed in Washington.

As you may be aware Mccain made the decision to put his campaign on hold on Wednesday. This was when he cancelled his appearance on Letterman. Letterman was not happy, to say the least.

David Letterman had many choice words for John Mccain, he started out saying how he has admiration for him, and respect for serving in Vietnam, and for his sacrifice as a prisoner of war.

Letterman went on to say “When you call up at the last minute and cancel, that’s not the John Mccain I know.”

Regarding senator Mccain’s decision to put his campaign on hold, Letterman said “Something smell’s right now” (perhaps his depends are full?)…

Letterman also suggested “somebody must’ve put something in his metamucil”.

David Letterman said that John Mccain had said that the economy was about to ‘crater’, which necessitated him getting to Washington immediately. Letterman then suggested he not suspend his campaign at all, but send in his “second string quarterback”, surely Gov. Sarah Palin has no reason not to be able to attend the debate, or visit Letterman on John’s behalf. Letterman said, “You don’t quit”.

After remarking that Sarah Palin should ‘be ready’ to step up, and take over for the old man, Letterman reconsidered and said “don’t get me started”.

In the absence of Mccain, Letterman brought out MSNBC host and stark republican critic Keith Olbermann, together they both assailed on Mccain for his decision to cancel his appearance, as well as put his campaign on hold.

Their critique reached a highpoint when Letterman learned that at this very moment that Mccain was ‘needing to get back to Washington’, and should’ve been on the couch next to Letterman, he was in fact at the CBS news center three blocks away in Manhattan being prepped for an interview with CBS News Anchor Katie Couric.

Letterman ordered his director to put on a live feed from that location, which showed John Mccain getting ‘made up’ to go on with Ms Couric. Letterman observed “he doesn’t seem to be racing to the airport”.

After listening to some questions from Ms Couric, Letterman said: “Hey John, I’ve got a question: You need a lift to the airport?”

He then asked Keith Olbermann if he thought this was all Mccain’s fault or somebody in his campaign’s. Keith simply said “He ditched you”.

Here are some Excerpts from Letterman’s rant on Mccain which quickly made their way around the Internet:

David Letterman tells audience that McCain called him today to tell him he had to rush back to DC to deal with the economy.

Then in the middle of the taping Dave Letterman got word that McCain was, in fact just down the street being interviewed by Katie Couric. Letterman even cut over to the live video of the interview, and said, “Hey Senator, can I give you a ride home?”

Earlier in the show, Dave Letterman kept saying, “You don’t suspend your campaign. This doesn’t smell right. This isn’t the way a tested hero behaves.” And he joked: “I think someone’s putting something in his metamucil.”

“He can’t run the campaign because the economy is cratering? Fine, put in your second string quarterback, Sarah Palin. Where is she?”

“What are you going to do if you’re elected and things get tough? Suspend being president? We’ve got a guy like that now!”

Letterman also dedicated his top ten to Mccain:

TOP TEN QUESTIONS PEOPLE ARE ASKING THE JOHN McCAIN CAMPAIGN
10. “I just contributed to your campaign — How do I get a refund?”
9. “Hi, it’s Sarah Palin — Does this mean I’m Parsident?”
8. “Can’t you solve this by selling some of your homes?”
7. “Hi, this is Clay Aiken. Is McCain single?”
6. “Do you still think the fundamentals of our economy are strong, Genius?”
5. “Are you doing all of this just to get out of going on Letterman?”
4. “What would Matlock do?”
3. “Hillary here — My schedule is free Friday night”
2. “Is this just an excuse to catch up on napping?”
1. “This is President Bush — What’s all this trouble with the economy?”

Related posts:

• Letterman: McCain’s Cancellation Not Funny
• Don’t Lie To Dave Letterman, McCain
• David Letterman Pissed At John McCain Video
• McCain cancels Letterman. Dave hits back
• McCain Ditches Letterman, Gets Caught Next Door With Couric
• Letterman drubs McCain over last-minute cancellation
• MCCAIN GETS SPANKED BY LETTERMAN, IS YOUR BOYFRIEND
• David Letterman: John McCain is Starting to “Smell”
• Letterman on McCain
• Letterman’s Rant About McCain’s

He can heal the sick, raise the dead, make the blind to see, and turn water into wine, but can he stand up against the evil Windows error screens?

I’m a very religious member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon, or LDS), but this picture was too funny not to post!

From [Gizmodo via FailBlog]

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Mackenzie Phillips is the daughter ofthe Mamas & the Papas Papas founder John Philips. Mackenzie Phillips was born November 10th 1959

Mackenzie Phillips began her career when she was 13 starring in a tv movie called “Go Ask Alice“, then at age 14 she played the role of Carol in American Graffiti.

Mackenzie Phillips’ career hit the big time when landed the role as Julie Cooper Horvath on the 70’s sitcom One Day at a Time.
Mackenzie Phillips now age 48 made big news today though, because she was apparently busted at LAX for allegedly possessing heroin and cocaine. She’s currently in police custody.

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Image via CrunchBase, source unknown

As many of you are aware, Jason Calacanis of Mahalo, went into retirement from blogging on July 11th. Claiming he needed to find his new voice, he set out on a quest to build an ‘intimate mailing list’ to host discussions on.

In a recent blog post, an update on his retirement, Jason says he is having a wonderful time writing his emails to his ‘intimate email group” (since when is 3000+ considered intimate?)…he continues: “I’ve been writing 2-5k word thought pieces on the email list, and I’ve found it to be very rewarding in a way that the mud pit of blogging isn’t.”

My thoughts are:

1. How is blogging a mudpit, and does that make us bloggers pigs? If so I feel a bit insulted.

2. Isn’t writing 2k+ ‘thought pieces’ the same as blogging just in a different format? I mean blog comes from the word weblog, which is a log of information on the web, a journal so to speak of one’s thoughts and opinions, whether it’s posted to a website or sent over email, in my opinion he’s still blogging.

3. It appears to me that this is somewhat of a scam like his twitter follower campaign, and other such to build a bigger audience for himself and mahalo. Everyone knows that the money is in your ‘list’. I’m not saying building a newsletter is bad, but if you want people to subscribe to your newsletter, don’t do it by trickery, just come out and say it.

Darren Rowse from Problogger says that before you do anything you need to build a list, and should start a newsletter on day one of your blog’s launch. There are just so many people who still don’t use feed readers that can benefit from your blog, and you can benefit from their visiting your site it’s a win-win.

Jason Calacanis continues his blog post : “Now I still love blogs: still read them, still comment on them…. but I’m trying to find my voice again–my true voice. There is something about the acoustic, intimate nature of email that is impacting how I write. I’m writing every sentence as if I’m looking someone in the eye and speaking directly to them. I’m thinking about the economy of words again. I’m trying to say things in as few words as possible, and I’m cutting sentences, paragraphs and pages more than I’m publishing them. I’m proof reading again, and C.K. Sample is proofing for me. It’s a new, slower and more considered process and I’m loving it. I’ve published ten emails or so and I’ve thrown away at least 30. Somethings happening, but I don’t know what it is.”

My thoughts:

When he says “I’m writing every sentence as if I’m looking someone in the eye and speaking directly to them.” I’m thinking, isn’t that how blogs are? That’s at least how I’ve always wrote my blog, as if I’m writing an intimate letter to a long lost friend…

He also says “I’m thinking about the economy of words again. I’m trying to say things in as few words as possible, and I’m cutting sentences, paragraphs and pages more than I’m publishing them. I’m proof reading again,” and I’m thinking economy of words?

Didn’t you say your ‘emaillog’(not to be confused with a weblog of course) are 2k-5k word thought pieces? How is that economical at all?

He continues:

“Over 100 folks respond to every email and I try to respond to every single person. Some of these emails are five pages and I read every single word. No one else sees these words–they are between me and the reader and that is also wonderful and true. Posting to the comment section of a blog is meaningless when compared to sending an email containing your thoughts inteneded for the author. Folks say very, very deep, true and honest things in one to one communications that they can’t say in a blog comment. I love that.”

Call my cynical, but the tone is that of perhaps a hippie(and I’m a very liberal person, hell I voted for Dennis Kucinich), or someone in a midlife crisis, or perhaps someone post stroke, maybe he’s been playing with model kits in a non-ventilated room, your guess is as good as mine. No offense but it’s like he’s living in a dream land. If he were writing blog pieces people could still email him from the blog if he so choosed to put up a contact form right at the bottom of each post or such.

Bottom line: Jason Calacanis if you’re really retired from blogging, more power to you, but why not stop blogging about being retired from blogging, seriously. I know blogging is addictive, and there are places that can help you with your addiction. (that last line was sarcasm, in case you weren’t paying attention…)

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I saw this on techcrunch, and thought I’d share it. It’s quite funny, and very relevant to my recent posts on twitter, and frustration with the follow limits on twitter. Let me know what you think!

It’s a fact – people love lists, especially top ten lists, and so here we have it – my Top 76 Top Ten List List. These are pretty much random, and in no specific order, I must’ve spent 4 hours on this, so I hope you like it, if not you can kiss my <profanity>.

Why did I only pick 76? Because I got damned tired of looking for more lists – DUH!?

1. Top Ten Questions Not To Ask In A Job Interview
2. Top 10 mobile apps[java] for your phone
3. Top 10 Quirkiest Early Flying Machines
4. My Top 10 Internet Phenomena
5. Top 10 Norton / Symantec Secrets You Shouldn’t Know
6. My Top 10 favorite Google Products
7. Tools of the Trade: Top 10 Tools for Social Media
8. Top 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces of All Time
9. Top 10 Mistakes Made in Business Plans
10. Top 10 Unwed Celebrity Parents
11. The Top 10 Coolest Olympic Mascots
12. Top 10 Printable Paper Productivity Tools
13. Top 10 Tips for Getting Attention on Flickr, All Fresh and New for 2008
14. Top 10 Brain Training Future Trends
15. Top 10 Concepts That Every Software Engineer Should Know
16. Top 10 Movie Roles Taken In Order to Make-Out With a Hot Chick
17. Top 10 Fantasy Worlds In Literature
18. DUI MA – Top 10 Mistakes in Drunk Driving Cases
19. Top ten: The world’s most dangerous places
20. Top Ten Places To Visit In Egypt
21. Top 10 Things to Bring to China
22. Top 10 hottest Olympians
23. Top 10: Widely Believed Myths
24. PTV’S TOP 10: The Greatest Political Web Videos of All Time
25. Top 10 Strangest Hotels in the World
26. Top 10 Phones of 2008
27. Top 10 Most Overpriced Zip Codes in America
28. Top 10 Sites for Illustrator Tutorials
29. The Top 10 Free iPhone Apps for Young Professionals
30. Top 10 Consumer Headaches
31. Top 10 Songs You Must Turn Off (Personal note, I don’t quite agree w/ the Evanescence remarks)
32. top 10: songs to primp to
33. Top 10 Countries to Make the Most of Your Dollar
34. Top 10 Mistakes Guys Make When Trying To Get A Girl
35. Top 10 Ways Gay Marriage Harms Straight People
36. Top 10 portable gadgets I take with me when I travel
37. Top 10 Reasons to Start a Business Blog
38. Top 10 Alternative Abstinence Slogans
39. Top Ten Conspiracy Theories, and sometimes a lizard is just a lizard
40. TOP 10 start up killers
41. Top 10 Free Things to Do in Paris
42. Top 10 Animal-Friendly Superheroes
43. Top 10 Template Generators for Blogs and Websites
44. Top 10 Firefox 3 Features
45. Top 10 Keyword Research Tips To Boost Your SEO
46. Top 10 Tools to Get Blogging Done
47. The Top 10 Star Wars Sounds
48. Top 10 Mac Freeware Applications.
49. Top 10 TV Shows Killed By College
50. The Top 10 Animated Films Ever Made
51. Top 10 Reasons Why I Haven’t Bought an iPhone 3G
52. Top 10 Idiocies of the General Election … So Far
53. Top Ten Dark Knight Scenes
54. Top 10 Punk Guitarists
55. Baseball’s Top 10 Trade Deadline Deals of All-Time
56. TOP 10 Worst Snack Foods
57. Top 10 Scientifically Inaccurate Movies
58. Top 10 Obsolete Car Features
59. Top 10 Bad Ass Movie Cars
60. Top 10 Movies for Kids who Love Dinosaurs
61. Storage Top 10 Best Practices
62. Top 10 CSS buttons tutorial list
63. Top ten things we like in tight economic times
64. Top 10 Fatal URL Design Mistakes
65. Top 10 Apple iPhone 3G tips and tricks
66. Top 10 Romantic Places in the World
67. Top 10 Command Line Tools
68. Top Ten Places To Have Sex
69. Top tips for marketing your web site
70. Top 10 Ways for College Students to Save Money
71. TOP 10 Unintentionally Funny Websites
72. Top 10 Busted Tees Nipples
73. Top 10 Websites You Probably Never Heard Of But Should
74. TOP 10 Worst Karaoke Songs
75. TOP 10 Things I’d Like To See In Theaters for 2009
76. TOP 10 Worst Movie Quotes To Say In Bed

Convicted Spammer, escapes from prison, kills his family, then kills himself.

This story is pretty darn horrible, and pretty unbelievable.

Edward Davidson is known as the “Spam King” he was sentenced to 21 months in jail and ordered to pay $714,139 to the IRS for spamming and tax evasion.

Apparently his wife helped him escape from prison. Once escaped he took a gun and shot her, their 3 year old daughter, a teenage girl, and finally himself.

I personally can’t see what was so bad, 21 months is hardly a jail sentence, I mean if Martha Stewart can do hard time…Maybe the fine was too much? Could’nt he just wait till he got out of prison, moved to a country that allows spamming, and made enough to pay off his debts and live peaceably?

Funny enough, he and his family just drove off from a minimum security prison – it don’t get any more ‘minimum security’ than that.

He went for some cash and a change of clothes and that’s when he turned the gun on the teenage girl, his wife, three year old, and finally himself.

A baby was found in the car seat unharmed. At least that much of it was a blessing.

[MSNBC via Geekologie via gizmodo]

You know that stupid news, that’s sooo stupid, it can’t be made up?

This issue of stupid news is brought to you by McDonalds – Have it your Way..

Or is that Burger King?

Apparently McDonalds teamed up with myspace to come up with a new jingle, via some sort of social network contest. Lets call it Mc-Idol. It’s basically to come up with a jingle to celebrate the 40th Anniversary of the Big Mac(As if 5 Billion heart-attacks are something to celebrate.)

The original jingle was created in 1974(you know: two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, pickle, 500 grams of fat, etc… notice sarcasm – please or I’ll shoot you.);

Over 1000 users submitted videos and audio submissions, well the winner’s song will become the new official Big Mac jingle, and be featured on upcoming McDonald’s commercials, and yada yada yada.

The 4th finalist in the Big Mac Chant contest(the guy with the white tshirt and baseball cap); is none other than 29 year old, Tamien Bain, who actually held up a McDonald’s at gun point when he was 14 years old. Tamien Bain was convicted as an adult and served 12 years in prison for the deed.

The finalists were picked by a panel of judges, and apparently no background checks were done, or as techcrunch suggests perhaps they did a background check, and this is just a publicity stunt. Reportedly, Tamien Bain has hired a PR firm and is making the most from the publicity as he can.

Actually, it does seem that he may have turned his life around, only time can tell of course, and name one person who hasn’t done something stupid when they were 14, maybe not robbing a McDonald’s but still..Here’s what his profile says:

BAiNG “The Locksmith”, a top up and coming Miami rapper who went to prison at the age of 14 and did 12 years for robbing a McDonalds, now works with West Palm Beach State representative Maria Sachs on a project called “REAL TALK” which features him visiting juvenile detention centers to speak to the youth about overcoming negativity. BAiNG LOVES THE BIG MAC!! In the video he rides day and night through the drive through to get his favorite sandwich! He starts the song by saying: “see this is the chant”(the big mac chant), “and im just giving back” (making up for his error at the age of 12), “real talk though…” (because of the real talk project). HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!

Now watch the video for yourself – it’s actually really good at least in my opinion – I really do hope he does win – it’ll keep him from robbing another McDonald’s right? LOL.

Big Mac Chant

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Jason Calacanis, one of the most influential bloggers on the scene right now, founder of Mahalo, exploiter of twitter and facebook, has announced he is going to quit blogging. What has the world come to? Eh, maybe it’s for the better.

I’m waiting to see a social network popup just around ‘betting’ whether or not he will come back to blogging. After-all I’ve quit blogging for a bit usually during the summer slow-down, but I always come back. For a true blogger, it’s almost an addiction, I can’t see how one can claim to completely give it up..but we will see.

After all Jason is known for link-bait scams, perhaps this is another one of his publicity stunts.

My personal message to Jason Calacanis: If this truly is the end for you, I tease, but I hardly know you, I regret not having the opportunity to get to know you better, or form any kind of relationship. I do however wish you the best of luck in any endeavor that you go to from here. Have a happy retirement!

Related articles:

• Life without JC
• Jason Nation leads to resignation [Jason Calacanis]
• Official announcement regarding my retirement from blogging.
• Jason Calacanis picks fight in Palo Alto with missing Wikipedia founder [Jimmy Wales]
• From the Pipeline – 7.11.08

This is just too good.. Seriously, what will they think of next?

Etsy has started selling a Cat5 style his / hers wedding band set for geeky couples. My wife would kill me if I bought her one, she knows I’m a geek, and she’s pretty geeky herself – but in total denial.

I could also see making some sort of necklace like this, as well.

Watch out though -they retail for $175!

More…(Gizmodo, Gadgetell, DVICE)

 

 

This sounds like something out of a spy movie or something.

According to ( Marketing Pilgrim via Mercury News) a 29-year-old UC Berkeley journalism student got out jail using Twitter.

Apparently, while in Egypt, he was arrested for taking a picture. Upon being arrested he quickly notified his ‘Network’ with the word ‘Arrested’, those who new his business and where he was immediately notified the right people, and before morning was up he had UC Berkley hired lawyer, and the American Embassy knocking on the door of the Jail.

From the Donkey’s Mouth:

Buck, 29, a former Oakland Tribune multimedia intern, used the ubiquitous short messaging service to tap out a single word on his cellular phone: ARRESTED. The message went out to the cell phones and computers of a wide circle of friends in the United States and to the mostly leftist, anti-government bloggers in Egypt who are the subject of his graduate journalism project.

The next day, he walked out a free man with an Egyptian attorney hired by UC Berkeley at his side and the U.S. Embassy on the phone.

I always knew Twitter could take you places, but now it can actually get you out of Jail!

How sweet is that?

I heard this story on the radio today, and thought it was quite funny.

Some guy named Bernie Peng, spent an entire month reprogramming his girlfriend’s favorite game (Bejewelled). When she reached a certain point level it showed a special wedding proposal screen and a ring.

Awestruck at what he’d done she of course said yes.

Popcap the makers of the game were impressed by this love story and as a wedding present flew the lovebirds to Seattle, for their honeymoon, where I’m betting there was quite a bit of Dungeons and Dragons to be had.

Not only that Popcap also gave away 250 free games to those at the Wedding Reception, pretty nice huh?!

Read More About it:

http://www.dorkroyalty.com/2008/04/dork-royalty-bernie-peng.html
http://www.neatorama.com/2008/04/15/a-bejeweled-wedding-proposal/

 

Fool or Be Fooled!

Yesterday was probably the biggest April Fool’s day Prank day I’ve ever seen. If you’re trying to make money online, then you probably had your own April Fool’s day prank – if not then you missed out on a great Opportunity. Some blogs have even launched or come out of obscurity due to a prank.

To follow success, you need to follow those who are successful, and Darren Rowse who says he’s not a fan of April Fool’s day – said he just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. He calls it ‘Opportunity Cost‘, which is the cost of passing up an opportunity.

April Fool’s day in my opinion is a fun day, to build traffic and linkbait. But it does get old, remember April Fool’s starts a day early in Australia – which is why I launched my pranks a day early, to get the most value..

Here’s a recap on my pranks – one of which nobody caught..hehe..

• Free Hardware Downloads! Get your Macbook Air today!
• Shoemoney Arrested for Riding-A-Bike While Drunk!
• Problogger Darren Rowse – Is Filing for Bankruptcy! What are we to do?
• Google buys Microsoft for $1 Trillion Dollars. Bill Gates Craps Pants!

 

And now for the one that nobody called me on:

Wow, Twitter + Digg = 1755 New Subscribers over the Weekend!

The truth is I only have about 90 subscribers, which is still good for 2 weeks!

The one that got the most talked about, surprisingly was the one about Problogger, apparently he’s more popular than Google buying Microsoft. (By most talked about I’m going by # of comments received)

Everyone who is anyone yesterday was pulling off some kind of prank.  There were many great pranks – the best though, would have to be my wife’s.

We’ve been trying to have a baby for 2 years now, and haven’t been that successful, in fact that’s one of the main motivations for me – to become successful so that we can do some of the more expensive infertility treatments out there. She is on medicine for PCOS, a female disorder, that when she goes off the medicine she needs to take a Pregnancy test (she takes it for 10 days per month.)

So this morning I walk in the bathroom, and see a test and it’s positive. I was like what the ____?! She’s like oh..yeah I’m pregnant, and I’m like really? She’s like – No.. Gottya!.. I must say it was definitely a good one, she had me for a minute..lol.

Around the blogosphere there were tons of april fool’s day jokes.

 

Google had a great day of jokes:

1. Google’s Scratch and Sniff E-Books
2. Google talk, in order to reduce chat-based CO2 emissions, is going to be cutting back on useless characters. EG: “As far as I’m Concerned” becomes “AFAIC”.
3. Then there’s Google & Virgin Mobile’s plan to colonize mars called project ‘Virgle‘. Read the official blog post, or watch the youtube video.
4. There was also talk of OpenGoogle, which apparently lets you create a seach engine of your own, that has a custom ranking algorithm, and a personalized interface. You can choose from 100 different ranking criterion, including: Page’s self importance, # of original ideas, IQ of Author / Webmaster, Number of links from Wikipedia, this was originally posted by ionut here, apparently Google’s system also gave Ionut an IQ of 125, of which he says they’re 50 off. He wouldn’t state, in which direction they’re off though.. So could be 75 or 175 – my bet is 75. 
5. Also on google docs if you clicked on the New tab, it gave you the option of creating a ‘New Airplane‘, which would then create a document with a paper-plane layout design.
6. Gmail, utilizing a new eflux-capacitor technology, can now send emails to the future and the past. Their new initiative is called: “Custom Time“
7. According to Seach Engine Land, Microsoft – Google’s biggest competitor is going to pay people $1,000,000/year NOT to use Google. If this is the case – count me in! LOL.
8. Google Calendar has a new “Wake-up kit“, includes bucket of water mechanism. It uses progressively more aggressive approaches to waking a person up, starting with an SMS message, ending with a bucket of water in the face.
9. Virtual Tourism Blog found that Google Street View censors it’s Competitors like Yahoo.
10. Google’s myspace clone – Orkut, turned into ‘Yogurt’.
11. Google added ‘I’m feeling Lucky’ feature to google Calendar, so you can add a random event, for instance ‘Date with Anna Kournikova’, (or George Bush, Lois Griffin, etc…)
12. The google sight-seeing blog reports new viewing options in google earth and google maps – xray and thermal energy. Now you can see inside buildings!
13. Google also launched “Adsense for conversations“.
14. The french Abondance Blog announced that Google is the new sponsor of the Paris Saint Germain football club, they backed it up with photo evidence, as well.
15. ReadWriteWeb reported on Google’s new ‘Dream Ads’.
16. Google’s Matt Cutt’s apparently skipped April Fool’s this year, and instead got a Firefox tattoo(Suspicious?)
17. Also on google earth, it was reported that if you zoom out far enough, you can view all the continents as one, as it might have looked a million years ago.
18. The sun discovered an UFO on Google Earth.

Some other notable Pranks:

1. Youtube rickrolled everyone big-time, and so did JohnChow. This apparently pissed off a lot of his subscribers / patrons. Chris Jacobson from Money Making Scoop states that he lost some work he was working on because of the javascript popups. John Chow even reported a lot of comments to the effect of people un-subscribing, because of the RickRoll.
2. Daniel at Daily Blog Tips, announced they were acquired for $168,000 - that was NOT true, he also announced on Daily Writing tips, that English was becoming the official language of the Internet.
3. Problogger Darren Rowse’s launch of “Pay Per Tweet” was obviously a gimmick – admittedly I fell for it, and sent an email to the email address he had for it.
4. You can also check out Tech Crunch’s lawsuit for $25 Million against Facebook.
5. Then there’s John Chow Cola – the Official Soda of Bloggers everywhere.
6. WinningTheWeb added a hummer h3 to their huge contest.
7. Garry Conn got banned from Adsense and lost like $13,000. I knew this was a prank because he didn’t seem as upset as he should’ve been.
8. Bloggingfingers, obviously copying my prank, hehe.. Broke into the 23k subscribers realm.
9. Digg to buy Microsoft as shares fall..
10. Darn Good Reviews announced soap made from frogs that washes away fat.
11. Chris Pirillo apparently got in fight with wife and quit job.
12. Shoemoney wrote a good post on how to make $100000 in an hour.
13. Discounted Airfare – if you’re willing to stand.
14. Tech2 spoke of India banning foreign Social Networks.
15. Mahalo’s interview with Steve Jobs.
16. New Music Mask, turns your face into a musical Instrument.
17. TimeTraVLr Builds your website yesterday, using Web3.0 Technology and 50% more Ajax!
18. Thinkgeek is selling a Betamax to HD-DVD convertor.
19. IRS considers giving bloggers  tax exempt status.
20. Njection is offering real-time tracking of police officers, and tells you what crime they’re responding to.
21. E-harmony founder finds true love…At Match.com!
22. Ades’ Blog is going RSS – ONLY!
23. Joel Comm finds way to totally get rid of Spam.
24. Trust Banners – Enforces Guaranteed Brand Loyalty.
25. Thinkgeek also has a new USB Pregnancy Test.
26. You can also check out Gearlog’s Poop-brown Ipod, in support of those with Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
27. You can also read about Apple’s launch of I-phone Enterprise Infrastructure Server (IpEnIS for short).
28. Also Nintendo WII launches a new virtual peeing game called the super PII PII Brothers. I can see lawsuits saying the game is sexist, after-all males would seem to have an advantage…

Here’s the plan. On the homepage there are a number of April Fool’s Day Joke Posts. I hope you can figure out which ones are jokes, lol.

Here’s the plan: Let’s make the internet community BELIEVE it’s REAL!

It’s one thing for one person to say something – but it’s totally different when you get a lot of people saying the same thing!

Pick 1 or pick all – and write a blog post, about the topic, linking back to the original.

The more creative you are, the better - feel free to include youtube video’s, photoshopped images, etc….to Increase the shock value.

Then come back here, and submit the link to your post in the comments – I will write up a 1 paragraph review of EVERY Blog that participates. I will also be picking one blog to do a complete blog review for, graphic intense, with a bunch of out-going links. This is currently worth about $40 as I have 1000 hits per day.

The best post, will also receive a Permanent Blogroll Link, on this site, as well as BlogContestSite.com (PR3).

Make me PROUD! Also feel free to digg / Sphinn the posts.

Shoemoney Arrested and Tazed!

Jeremy Shoemaker, aka Shoemoney was arrested Sunday night, for “Riding a Bike Under the Influence”. Apparently, and I agree, he thought it was better to ride a bike to the bar than a car, so as to prevent himself from getting a DUI. He did not know it is also illegal to Ride a Bike under the Influence.

Two cops, watching the establishment saw him leaving, followed him for a mile and arrested him.

It also seems that the cops claim he was resisting arrest, and they were forced to Taze him.

Shoemoney, swares he wasn’t resisting, and had only had 2 beers to drink. Shoemoney is talking with his lawyers, as to whether he is going to file charges against the cops, for unnecessary roughness.

I just can’t wait to see the youtube video! Lol.

Check out some of Shoemoney’s Best Blog Posts:

• Movies That Motivate Me(166)
• Americans are Fat and Lazy(166)
• Million Dollar Wiki A Good Inv..(158)
• Books That Motivate Me(168)
• Twitter – I just don’t get it(132)

 

 

UPDATE!!!! THIS POST WAS ONLY A JOKE.

Apparently someone posted it on Darren’s Wikipedia page, and all hell broke loose.

In order to keep seo continuity I won’t delete the post entirely – BUT I do want to let everyone know that it was just an April Fool’s day Joke. For all of those who say I was early. It was April Fool’s day in Australia at the time. Remember not everywhere in the world is sharing the same day / time that you are.

Apparently some have taken offense to this post, I do apologize to those, including Darren. I did not mean to defame your character or person. I hope this addendum to this post will prove that point.

Problogger is Bankrupt!

Darren Rowse, probably one of the most famous and talked about bloggers in the blogosphere is filing bankruptcy. Apparently, his blog has been a farce, and he was ‘faking it till making it’.

The truth is that he never was making it. The most he’s earned is $1000 in a month, which went to bandwidth fees, and server hosting. His wife is threatening divorce if he doesn’t call it quits.

He has spent his savings, and built up a lot in credit card debt, in order to be able to go to all the blogging conventions, and build up connections which he swore would make him rich, but never really delivered.

He states, that if I fail, then everyone does. Which makes sense since his blog is one of the most trafficked out there. He is the authority on making money blogging, and to find out the Authority is broke, is quite dis-heartening.

This truly is a sad day for blogging, as it – pretty much means that all of us trying to make money on this should give up and go home. Go back to school, or get a real job, at a factory or something.

Wait – why am I wasting my time writing this post then? I quit!

Long Live GOOGLE-Soft!

Apparently, the CEO of Microsoft told the Google CEO, “Ha – we will sell you our company for 1 Trillion Dollars!”, adding: “yeah, right” under his breath.

This was all in jest, and a joking manner, however it was also on live television, and Google’s CEO immediately pulled out a checkbook and wrote a check for $1 Trillion Dollars. Bill Gates, at hearing the news crapped his pants.

Apparently Microsoft under-estimated the Search Engine giant, citing that they had no idea Google had
that much money available.

On a related note – Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, on hearing the news, tracked down the CEO of Microsoft, and shot him point blank with a .22 revolver, before ending his own life, ironically he couldn’t shoot himself, so he took a PC, filled a bathtub and took a bath with a Personal Computer. Ironic because it is his company that helped put a computer in just about every household in America.

I’m curious what we do now, since Google, now owns the whole internet / computing world, pretty much.
Talk about a big Monopoly. What are your thoughts on the matter?

A man struggling to put a hole in his ceiling, while installing a Directv system ends up killing his wife.

Talk about killing two birds with one stone….err Bullet.  (Satellite TV installed and No More Nagging)

Apparently, Ronald Long of Deepwater, MO thought it would be a good idea, as he was having troubles doing it the normal way, you know – with tools. Apparently he was having trouble breaking through the external wall of the house. The bullet went up – up -up arched and landed in his wife’s chest who was outside at the time.

Patsy Long, 34, of Deepwater was rushed to the hospital immediately, but was declared dead on arrival.

Officials are determining whether they should file charges. Spokesman for the Sheriff’s department said that a person involved in such a case, could be brought up on charges of manslaughter.

This guy – truly wins the Dumbass of the week Award!

*Personal Note: It’s a funny story, definitely strange, some people really aren’t the brightest bulb in the pack. But it’s also a sad story, she was a young mother trying to raise her children, and now their father is probably going to end up in prison. Sad to see how fast so many lives can be ruined – because of one stupid mistake.

[KCTV5 via BoingBoing via Gizmodo]