If we lived in a world where Twilight was a reality, and Hogwarts was as real as the Eiffel Tower, where magic existed along side technology and social media, what social media monster would you be?

Social media zombie's pick the brains of social media vampires, warlocks, and werewolves constantly. They spend all their time eating brains, and that's all that they are. Filthy brain suckers. They know, or think they know and understand social media but they don't have the motivation to do something with that knowledge. Social media zombies often call themselves social media consultants yet have never consulted or helped anyone with a social media campaign. Which makes me think of the old rhetorical question if a tree falls in the wilderness... or let me rephrase it: "If a social media consultant has never consulted, does that make him a social media consultant?"

Social Media Zombies excel at: Content reading, pondering, and devouring. They subscribe and follow everyone in the industry. Their biggest weakness is their failure to act on their skills that they are learning. They are good at social bookmarking, and organizing content in their feed reader. I can't think of a good example, as zombies tend to not be famous, or well known.

Social media werewolves are grunts of social media, often they're programmers, designers, and video editors. They are less centered on marketing, and philosophy of social media and more focused on design, programming, and other technical aspects. They know enough to get around, and work with API's, but wouldn't be comfortable teaching a seminar on social media. They work hard blogging, many work for content mills, and while they aren't rich they do manage to build up a good amount of content. They are enjoy installing and playing with new scripts and wordpress plugins. Design cool facebook pages, and more.

Social media werewolves excel at: WordPress installation, Plugin Development, Social Network design, API programming, Content Mills, SEO artcile writing and article spinning, other technical aspects of social media. David King is a good example of someone who's built his business around wordpress installation, though he does a lot of other things as well, and is very talented in social media marketing as well, another good example would be Robert Scoble is definitely tech-heavy on his blog posts.

Social Media Vampires suck the blood out of life, which is to say they're passionate beings, as seen in many of the latest vampire movies, and tv shows like Twilight. Vampires are sexy, philosophical, and have vast understanding of the subject. A social vampire is someone who 'sucks' up every bit of information he can, sometimes he has trouble applying his information simply because he's too busy 'feasting' on more input. Social media vampires are known to hide in dark places, and aren't always the best public speakers - but they do actually work hard, and always keep their social networks up to date. Mundane tasks sometimes slip by them, as living as long as they do it's sometimes hard to always remember to write a blog post, and keeping a schedule isn't always the easiest. Being long lived, a month to everyone else can easily seem like a day for a vampire.

Social Media vampires are most likely to excel at: Marketing social media to businesses, explaining the value of social media to interested parties, expounding on social media ethics and best practices. Social media vampires can also develop awesome social media strategy plans. Example of a good vampire is Chris Brogan, very passionate and great at explaining social media philosophy.  (Though a lot of what he does would also fit into other categories)

Social media warlocks are gifted in spells and incantations. He can easily grasp social concepts, and can fit in and easily explain social media to non-warlocks. Social media warlocks excel at public speaking, giving presentations, and teaching. They often are found writing books, attending conferences, and running local social media meetups. Social media warlocks are the life of the party, and are generally well connected in the society. This of course makes things difficult when little Abigail accuses them of being a Witch, and all hell breaks loose, as in the Salem Witch Trials.

Social media warlocks are most likely to excel at the following: Public Speaking, Event Planning, Webinars. A good social media Witch is Liz Strauss, she puts together SoBCon every year and puts a lot of hard work into that, and again she fits into many other great roles in social media, and it's hard to label her with one single area.

Now I know it's quite possible to fit all of these Criteria, or a combination of more than one - but if you could only pick one, which one would you be?

A. Social Media Zombie.
B. Social Media Werewolf.
C. Social Media Vampire.
D. Social Media Warlock(Witch for the ladies).

And why?

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